Home Sweet Home and the first Pooping Incident

Finally, the battery of tests are run!  Our child is normal and ready to go home and we are ready to lie down on our own bed.  But first, to put her in this car seat…what’s that?  The clips are supposed to go around the legs?  Oh…thank you Nurse for helping us out with this latest little challenge.

Night 1 goes well, Chloé has made a habit of having her energy peak past 10:00 pm but she finally calms down and falls asleep…only to be woken up every 3 hours for feedings.  But ¾ of a good night’s sleep feels like heaven and we decide to get ambitious on day two and bathe the little angel. 

The preparation takes a good 15 minutes and now to change her diaper.  What a sweetheart and OH MY GOD, she’s projectile pooping onto mommy.  I know, we’ve seen this moment in movies and television but oh my is it hilarious to watch.  As the supporting husband I’m trying to stifle my laughter and tell my wife it’s ok, well attempting to figure out how to clean it off and get this diaper change done.  She begins to laugh probably because there's nothing else to do in this situation.  The fact I pull it off without my wife ripping me apart is a crowning achievement in my life and my understand of women and hormones…I’d like to thank my mom and my two sisters for giving me visibility to female emotions as I grew up.

Sidebar - there are many bar nights with my friends where I've uttered "I wish I had a GoPro camera attached to me so that we could relive this".  Can you imagine if I had one in that moment?  The hilarity that would come from that video along with the potential to scare my wife at every family event by teasing her to put it on would be PRICELESS.

Naturally, once she almost causes World War 3 in my kitchen Chloé is content and sleeps through most of the day,  even proving hard to wake up for feedings.  She still doesn’t want to play monopoly with me, so I’ve taken on throwing the dice for her and making property trades that benefit me.  This trading ability a skill I’ve developed through years of fantasy sports.    Naturally, on the first and second nights her energy spikes….right at 10:30 and she begins to fret for what seems like the entire night but is actually just a couple hours.  When I say “just” a couple hours, parents can understand that it doesn’t feel like “just” and all you young’ins without children will someday understand the pain of trying to go to sleep and having a child full of energy crying.  In the meantime, enjoy watching hours of Netflix and deciding to go to the bar at 11pm when this old man is attempting to get to sleep. 

The adventures will only get better from here.  We are blessed with a healthy, pretty well behaved baby and we are loving every second of it.  And hopefully, she never poops on me...if this was a movie I'd be worried that this was foreshadowing.   After having typed that, I'm envision that moment of "i'll be right back" in a scary movie.